knock…knock…where is everybody???
knock…knock….knock…knock…. nobody??
i faced a hard tym now, to many..to many problem bound me….at this tym i need support, i need otherz care, i need thoe who understand and heal me from this pain…a simple word such as "hye its gonna be OK" could be enough for me….its feel like i was alone all over myself nowadayz, i got no one i could count on to share this ups n down life…
but i do understand that people would not alwayz ready for us, they got they own trouble to b fix also, so don’t trouble them more…maybe i was wrong that i was too much depending that otherz would be alwayz at my side, but life would not allow that happen, its is more to survive by our own…i try to learn not to cry anymore, big gurl don’t cry….but of course sometimes we could not stop ourself to cry, let it be, but hide it away from otherz eyes…
at this hard tym, i stated to miss the time that i there alwayz be my frenz at my side to be wif me in such a trouble situation…but wake up lah, things would never b the same as alwayz…many things would change n don’t blame that….i learn not to blame situation….
i remember dulu2, my bestfren(still be in my heart 4ever), pye, she is my talking wall, i put my trouble to her, n she did the same…she heal me, n i did the same when the tym she needed…we keep wrinting letter to share stories even kami jumpa tiap2 hari…coz’ only in letter everytin could be tell, i miss that… but it was dulu2, n could not ask for the same anymore, things change, situation change, each of us got our own life to b settle, got own problem to be handle…yes, b4 this i kept wonder, where is she???? but one day i sat alone in my room n thingking all back i found the answer, "she here, with me all over th passes tym, she is in my heart"….
recently i got a simple fight wif my fren BB-suria, its was funny, its been a long tym don’t got such a fight….she is my soulmate, she always be the person that i trust to kept to many secret in life, she is like diary, i never tell her b4, but for whole this tym i called her "my diary"…coz she know a lot about me..n she like the first i will sms to tell the day story… but after the simple fight that i had wif her, i realize that my diary might be full already…i was too much trouble her wif my non stop problem, so now i learn to minimize reporting my daily life to her, she also got life to face on, she also got problem to handle… so my fren, here i want to have ur appologize…sorry ya…
ermmm dya-my b’loved long distance fren, missing u all this while…maybe i less sharing my stories to u, but u know i alwayz be the person that want to know n hear ur stories…i dunno y, i like to here ur story, how u fight for life, how u survive from suffer, u always be the stronger one, i adore that. maybe that is b’coz i lee shere u mine coz i dont one to add u more trouble. but u the gurl that suprise me, u’r full of problem n trouble, but u manage u handle ur life well, u stand on ur foot all over the tym…i never mine to hear stories of u, i was glad everytym u decide to tell me u daily life, for me its motivate me…coz i want to be stronger, just like u…i knew how u a weak inside but u never show to the world…i learn that from u…
how i miss all that….really….but i could not stop things to b change.. not everytin’ gonna be the same everytym we need…but of cause it was really down when there were no person should be count on at the tym we needed…
sometym people might suprise us, they will came when we not expect tem to came….such like recently,i face too many problem that killing me, too much trouble bounding me..but i was decide this tym i don’t want to share this problems, let me handle all my myself, recently i was give up, i use to think that nobody would never care to me anymore, i use to believe no one would understand, but yesterday i was suprised, the person that i never expect would show some care came n heal me a little bit, for a while i don’t believe it could be, i feel like i was dreaming.. before this i always believe that ‘this person’ gonna be the last that want to know anytin’ about me but suddenly yestrday ‘this person’ came n show some care n a little bit it help to heal the pain that bound me .. … i cry n i smile… bitter sweet…
now i learn to b stronger(i hope, i wish)….yeah sometym its hurt when realize nobody at our own side, but its ok, sometyms sesuatu yg terjangka kan terjadi…
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